


My Aphrodisiac Is You

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Fluff, Future, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-24
Updated: 2006-05-24
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: What scares Brian even more than love and the thought of marriage?





	My Aphrodisiac Is You

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Timeline is set five years after 513. Biggest thanks in the world to my amigo and beta. *smooches*  This was my QAF_anon entry, since I was on angsty fic overload at the time.*lol* As always, feedback will be deeply appreciated.  xxoo  
Also, **Italics** = flashback ;D  


* * *

  **CHAPTER ONE**

 

_Some people like to read the Kama Sutra first,  
But I don't need it,   
I think if I should read it, I'd be worse;   
Don't ask me why, 'Cause baby, I ain't got a clue.   
I just concede it, my aphrodisiac is you_

 

At the first sound of ringing, Brian blinked, trying to chase the remains of sleep away. He groaned slowly, rolling away from the warm body that laidpeacefully in his arms and reached out to grab the phone. His eyes settled on the clock beside the bed, when he clicked the talk button.  
   
“Oh for fuck's sake! This better be good. It's…4 o clock in the freakingmorning!” He muttered sleepily into the receiver. The voice on the other side woke him up completely. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear a woman crying.  
   
“Brian, it's Mel. Listen, something happened.” Brian paled, the sound of his heartbeat suddenly so loud in his ears. He fought to just keep breathing. _‘Oh God. Gus…’_  
   
“Is it -…” He swallowed hard, hoping beyond hope. “Gus?” She finished his sentence, leaving him too terrified to even ask for more information.  
   
“No, no, Brian, it's not Gus. It's Lindsay's father. He had a heart attack and her mother called half hour ago. So we're packing now and we'll try to get to the Pitts before noon. The thing is, we don’t want to drag the kids through thehospital. Can we leave Gus and JR with you and Justin?”  
   
Meanwhile, Justin woke and rolled after Brian, feeling the lack of familiar arms  wound tight around his body.  
   
“What is it, Brian? Is everything ok?“ The blond murmured, his palm gently tracing the soft skin of Brian’s stomach. Brian glanced at him and mouthed _‘Mel’_ at the blond, but that made Justin even more confused. Why the fuck would Mel call at 4:15 in the freaking morning? Brian’s voice brought him back to the situation at hand.  
   
“No, it's alright with us. We planned to stay home anyway, so just come straight to the house. Will you be calling the rest of our little family, to let them know that you are trespassing into the country again?” Brian waited, while two women spoke softly for few seconds.  
   
“Yeah, I'll call Deb from the road. We'll drop the kids with you two and head straight to Allegheny **.”** **  
**  
That simple name hit him straight in the gut. Mind-numbing flashes of a white scarf drenched in blood and a baseball bat hitting the cement ran uninvited through his mind. Unconsciously, he pulled Justin closer, enclosing the blond into the protective circle of his arms. Even nine years later, the same chill ran down his spine at the thought of what could’vehappened that night, of what could’ve been lost. He just knew one thing. He never wanted to go through something like that again.  
   
“Brian?” If he was being  honest, the concern in Mel’svoice touched him deeply, but he also knew he  wouldn’tshare that particular piece of information with the woman any time soon. Still somehow, she knew exactly what went thought his mind.  He cleared his throat and focused once more on the person on the other end.  
   
“Yeah, alright, Allegheny. So, we can expect you sometime before noon?”  
   
“Uh huh. You do have food in your house, right? Well, beside poppers, that is…”  
   
“We will find something, you wench.. We do eat, you know. Well, some of usmore than the others.”   
   
Brian laughed at the look of indignation on Justin's face, that was soon replaced by the most adorable pout.  
   
“So, I guess there will be no sexfor you tonight, huh? Because even from miles away, I can imagine the look on Justin's face.”  
   
She chuckled, turning slightly away from Lindsay who was busily packing, while the traces of already dried out tears marked her tired face.  
   
“Fuck you, Mel. Bye bye.” He added, pulling the phone away from his ear. As an afterthought, he added “Drive safely.” And with that, he turned the phone off, pulling the sleepy body of his lover close.He knew there would be no more sleep for him tonight.  
   
   
*  
   
   
The insistent pounding on the front door broke his concentration, instantly bringing him back from working onKinnetik's latest ad for Eyeconics. The art department worked on it for weeks now, but Brian just  couldn’tshake off the feeling that something was missing. Familiar hands rested on his shoulders and he smiled at the way Justin’sbody fitperfectlyagainst his. His mind went back to the conversation they had an hour ago.   
   
 _**“What do you see?” Justin searched his eyes, small smile gracing his lips.  
   
“I see a man, that has a big cock and even bigger heart. I see a man I love more than anything in thisfucking world. That’swhat I see.” Justin whispered seconds before they kissed.Brian rolled his eyes, trying to squelchthe little grin that tugged teasingly on his lips.  
   
“Not me, you twat. The ad. Though I completely understand your amazement. I do have a perfect cock.”   
   
Justin blinked innocently, faking his embarrassment, the move that made him look even younger than before. Brian watched carefully the younger man's face, as Justin frowned in concentration, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips. Precious moments like this one were thoughtfully filed away in Brian’s memory bank for years to come. One of his guilty pleasures for some time now was watching Justin do, well, anything really. Sure, there were still rare moments, when he worded the love he felt for the young blond, but they understood each other and it made a huge difference from their life before.   
   
“Change the size of the font from 16 to 22 and make a black and white background. You know, to accentuate the product you are trying to sell. It will balance the picture. Oh and maybe you should change the color of the font to -…” he tilted his head, trying to see it in his mind “umm, try blue.”  
   
Brian tried to imagine the changes Justin suggested and he liked what he saw.  
   
“So, orange is not the new blue anymore, Sunshine?”   
   
Justin grinned impishly at Brian.  
   
“Nope. The market says that blue is the new orange at the moment. You know us artsy types…always changing our minds.” Brian smirked, tongue in his cheek, while his hands pulled the man in for yet another  deep kiss.**_  
   
   
“ _Brian! Justin_!” The pounding on the front door only became louder. Brian rolled his eyes, saving the changes he made on the ad and turned the monitor off.   
   
“Fuck. Patience is a fucking virtue!” He growled as he threw the door open. Suddenly, he had one kid clinging to his waist, while the other found the smaller, blonder target. The sight of it even brought a spark to Lindsay’s eyes.  
   
“Hey sonny boy.” He glanced down with a smile at the 10-year old, as his hand lovingly caressed the soft hair of his own flesh and blood.  
   
“Hi J.” He smiled at the 6-year old in Justin’s arms. She looked at him, all grins and waved, adoringly glancing up at the blond. Brian couldn’t help but smile. Sooner or later, everyone fell under the Taylor spell. It was inevitable and heknew all about that phenomena.  
   
“Alright, we'll be off now. I will call later to let you know how things are progressing, but plan on it that we will probably spend whole day today at the hospital. I explained everything to both of them, so there shouldn’t be any problems.”  
   
Hurriedly, the women kissed their kids and with a wave, the car sped off down the road. With a sigh, the little group entered the house, front door slamming behind them.  
   
   
*  
   
   
 **Six hours later**  
   
   
“Can I get some silence, please? I need only one more hour to finish this. Justin!” Brian lost it, when he  realizedthat he was being ignored completely. Suddenly, everything stopped. You could almost hear a fly buzzing nearby. Brian bit down the smile at the scene in front of him, at their frozen faces, waiting anxiously for his reaction. Finally, he let them off the hook with a smile.   
   
“What do you say we order a pizza later? We can put a movie on, if you guys want to.” Justin smiled at him, combing his fingers lightly through JR’s hair.  
   
“Unca Bwian, can we watch Snow white, pwease?” A small, brown-eyed creature looked at him with her wide eyes so reminiscent of her father. Brian glanced at the grin Justin tried to cover. More than anything, he really wanted to wipe that grin off the blond's face right then. At the last moment, Justin came to his rescue.  
   
“Sure sweetie, we'll watch Snow white.”  Brian rolled his eyes and groaned. He just knew that someone up there must've been laughing his ass off at his expense. Interestingly enough, Gus said nothing and that made Brian stop a little.  
   
“Gus, you don’t mind watching Snow white?” The boy shook his head, watching the little girl carefully, as she was about to stick her little fist whole inside the DVD player. Like a big brother should, he pulled her away from it at exactly right time.   
   
“J, don’t do that, You'll get hurt.”  
   
For a second there, Brian watched in fascination his own son acting like a grownup, but when he glanced at Justin, he realizedthat Sunshine knew exactly where Gus was coming from. In a weird way, he actually enjoyed the connection. Gus glanced at Brian, his own eyes looking back at him.  
   
“Dad, she is still just a baby. If we watched what I want, she would have nightmares every night. This way, I get a full night's sleep and everything is cool.”  
   
Lately, Brian noticed that his son entered into a _‘cool’_ phase, meaning that he thought  if he said cool every fiveminutes, it would automatically make him “too cool for school”. _Oh fuck, Kiney. And how old are you again? 60?_ He shuddered at his own traitorous mind.  
   
Slowly, Brian settled back behind the computer, while his merry band of three sat around the coffee table, each concentrating on the blank piece of paper in front of them, a crayon poised for attack. With a final smirk, he returned to his own work.  
   
   
*  
   
   
“Brian, I've been thinking…” Alarms went off in Brian’s mind, as they laidin their bed few hours later.  
   
“Sunshine, thinking is _bad_. How about we move straight to fucking?” He grinned at the huff his lover produced.  
   
“Shut up and listen to me for once, you asshole.” Brian mockingly swooned at the blond.  
   
“Oh Sunshine, you always know just the right thing to say…” The slap on the shoulder he got in return told him everything he needed to know.  
   
“Anyway, I was thinking…Mmm, couldwegocampingwiththekids?” Brian turned his head at Justin so fast he instantly regretted the movement. Now his neck was killing him. Just _fucking_ great.  
   
“Excuse me, can you repeat that, because I could swear you asked if we could go camping with the kids.” He rose one perfectly brow at the younger man at his side.  
   
“Um, well, yeah. I bet kids would love the experience. We don’t have to go far. I think a small camping site is few miles from here.”  
   
“And how would you know if they would love camping, Sunshine?” The blond looked away sheepishly.  
   
“Um, yeah, I…well, kinda asked them what they would like to do tomorrow.”  
   
“Justin, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We shouldn’t go away from home right now. We don’t know if Mel and Linds -…”  
   
“Mel said that they were fine with whatever we decide, as long as we stay in the country.”  
   
Brian sighed. He could already feel the phantom crick in his neck from sleeping on the ground, the aches all over his body, the stiffness in all the parts of his body, that weren’t meant to be in that state, the headaches… He so knew he would be sorry for this.  
   
“Justin, there is no fucking way in hell or beyond, that you will get me near the woods. Fuck sleeping in the tent and exploring the nature. No fucking way!”  
   
Justin grinned, as he traced his nimble fingers up Brian’s thigh. A deep moan shattered  the silence of their room, as Justin took matters into his ownhands.  
   
   
*  
   
   
 **Next day**  
   
   
“Gus, can you put this in the back? Honey, go wait with your brother by the car.” Justin glanced back into the house, searching for his missing partner.  
   
“Oh Briiii- _an_!” Still bleary eyed, Brian reluctantly exited the house.   
   
“You'll pay for this, Sunshine.” The roguish laughter rang behind him, as he sat behind the wheel of the jeep.  
   
“Come on, guys. Get in.” Gus climbed into the back seat first, taking JR from Justin's hands and sitting down.  
   
When Brian thought he finally could breathe freely, the next thing he heard as he exited out onto the highway made him change his mind.  
   
“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, if you take one down …” Oh yeah, he was certain of it now.   
   
This was definitely his personal hell.  
   
   
*  
   
   
“Brian, you could actually get onyour knees and help us out here, you know. It's not as if the tent would bit your hand off.” Brian glanced at Justin and Gus, as they desperately tried to pin the damn thing down to the ground.  
   
“Sunshine, there is only oneevent that gets me down on my knees and you get to enjoy it every fucking time. There is absolutely no way in hell I am -… ”  
   
“Dad, can you grab that end and pull?” Gus called out, as he pushed the spike in his own hand into the ground. Brian sighed at the boy and the triumphant grin on his lover's face.   
   
At the same time, little Jenny Rebecca decided that she could explore the forest on her very own. Fortunately, Brian spotted her before she wandered off too far.  
   
“Baby, it's not safe for you to go away on your own. If you wanna go somewhere, ask one of us adults, ok?” The small girl nodded silently, little angelic smile on her face, while she sucked her thumb. She buriedher tiny face in Brian’s shoulder. When Justin saw them, he decided that for now it would be the best thing if he was the one helping Gus make the tents. It was more than worth it, if he got to see Brian interact with JR like this.  
   
   
*  
   
   
“You want some, Bri? Marsh mellows are good for you, you know…” He tried to feed Brian little white sugar bombs.  
   
“Yeah, as if I really need a heart attack on a stick this late at night.” He snorted against Justin's warm temple, while the blond laidlike a ragdoll, glued to his side. The fire was slowly dying down, the remaining flames throwing playful shadows on the sleeping kids in the tent few feet away.  
   
“So're you regretting yet, that we did this?” Justin whispered into the strong chest. Brian sighed, his arm squeezing Justin closer.  
   
“Nah, I guess I'll live. And you were right. Both of them needed this. Also, this just confirmed for me something I already knew about you.”  
   
“And what is that?” Justin glanced up at him, while the fire died down completely.  Brian spilled a glass of water over the still glowing embers.  
   
“You are fucking great with children.” The rest was left unsaid, as Justin’s lips landed on Brian’s. Somewhere in the far distance, a thunder ripped through the night, but the lovers stayed completely focused on each other, taking only the time to close the flap on their tent.  
   
   
*  
   
   
“Unca Bwian?” He felt a miniature hand gently shake his leg. Absently, he pulled the covers tighter over his body, as one of his eyes popped open.  
   
“What is it, kiddo?” He muttered, his eyes already closing on their own accord.  
   
“Gotta pee real bad, unca.” Brian groaned, trying to push Justin’s warm body off, without waking him up.  
   
“Ok, baby, I'll be right out.” With a silent curse, he rolled out from under the covers and pulled his jeans on. When he exited the tent, the last thing he saw was Justin burrowing deeper under the blanket. He grinned at the sight. Jenny Rebecca looked up at her uncle Brian and held out her hand, which he took with a smile. There was just something completely fucking… _adorable_ about the kid, that got to Brian. Something that escaped even him, but still, he didn’t hate the feeling. Someday soon, things like this might even evolve from an idea to a thing, because he knew that Justin would love to have a kid one of these days and somehow, Brian wasn’t really sure that he himself wouldhate the idea as much as he expects it. He waited for the little girl to finish and slowly, they started their way back.  
   
“Unca Bwian, you luf Justin lots, wight?” He glanced down at the kid.  
   
“Uh huh. Why, baby?” She looked up at him, the maturity beyond her years shining from her eyes.  
   
“Well, my momma said that you awenot a mawwying kind.” She frowned a little.  
   
“What does that mean?” Brian’s eyes widened slightly. _Oh oh._  
   
“Honey, it would be best if you asked your moms to explain that to you.” She nodded slowly and pulled Brian’s hand down, making him crouch in front of her.  
   
“My mommy said that unca Jus would mawwy you in a heawtbeat, if only you asked again. You gonna ask?” Brian bit down on his lower lip, stiflinga smile at the innocence on the little girl's features.  
   
“I don’t know, baby. Maybe.” She grinned throwing herself around his neck, making them both fall back on the ground laughing.  
   
“What're you two doing?” Justin mumbled, as he fought his way out of the tent at the same time as Gus stumbled out. Brian showed a shush up sign and winked at her. The little girl giggled into his shoulder.  
   
“Nothing, Sunshine. Just playing.” Justin rose one perfectly blond brow at him, but all he got as an answer was a secret smile, that was shared between his lover and JR.  
   
“So, will we eat something and slowly head home, you little monsters?” Brian asked the little band of not very awake people, that filled up his little world at the moment in some damn woods in the middle of nowhere. As Brian satdown, JR once more in his arms, Justin opened the cans with fruit and filled up all cups with juice. Of course, Brian’s cup as always contained guava juice. Justin couldn’t stomach the stuff, but his partner drank it rather religiously. Few times, Justin  actually tried to get him to start drinking orange, but to no avail **.** Brian wouldn’t budge. After a while, Justin finally decided that if it made the man happy, he could live with that particular habit.  
   
About two hours later, they were on their way home, one interesting experience richer and with parts of  their worlds changed, if only a little bit. This time around, Justin was behind the wheel. After Brian groaned, moaned and generally felt sorry for himself, because as he so generously put it, _‘all Sunshine has to do is blink his pretty blue eyes and everyone bends to his asking’_ , Justin just rolled his eyes and started the car.  
   
Half way home, Justin couldn’t shake the feeling that Brian was staring at him, but whenever he turned to look, Brian was looking out the window. Radio station quietlyplayed some random remake of _Save the last dance for me_ , but it didn’t matter. The message behind the song was loud and clear to them both, especially since Justin two years ago remembered that wonderfully awful night. The memory itself didn’t  cometo him after a trauma or yet another head wound. No, interestingly enough, it reappeared after one particularly nasty nightmare, that left Brian completely baffledabout what he could do to help his longtime lover. Even with all the experience he had in this department, Brian felt as helpless as he never felt before. That night was the first of many that changed him into the man he istoday.  
   
   
 _**“Brian, god…I was so fucking stupid! I turned away from you so many times in the beginning and you were always there, waiting for me to come back. God, I am **so** sorry. So, so -… ” Brian shushed him up, melting his boy's body as close as humanly possible to his own.  
   
“Sunshine, you did what you had to do. I don’t hold it against you. I never would do that. You were right to leave. But you are here now, so it was worth it all, right?” He whispered into the soft blond locks. “Definitely.”**_  
   
   
Justin glanced again at Brian, when he turned on the driveway, that led to their house.   
   
“What?” Brian shrugged, licked his lips silently and looked out the window. With a loud groan, Brian stepped out of the car. He waited for the kids to get out of the car, occasionally helping them out.  In the meantime, Justin unlocked the house and started carrying their bags inside. The first thing he did once inside was to push the messages button on the machine.  
   
 _“You have 15 new messages.”_  
   
Justin rolled his eyes, already suspecting who called the most.  
   
 _“Bri, really…The least you could’ve done was to call me and let me know that my little bunny was in the Pitts. Plus, mom wants to see her granddaughter today, so all of you better materializeat her house as soon as possible.”_  
   
There were six more messages from Michael with a similar content, along with now familiar whine, four similar messages from Deb without the whine, but a lot of male genitalia removing, one from Ted about Kinnetik, two from his mom and one from his agent about an upcoming show. But for now, he decided to ignore them all and focus on the people in the house. Sudden silence made him look into the living room and the sight before him warmed him from within.  
   
Brian was sprawled across the sofa, Gus and JR on each of his sides, sleeping like babies. He padded into the room, grabbed the afghan from the back of the sofa, the very one that Brian always used to cover him up and very gently, he did the same to the three of them. After everything the last two days had brought them, they deserved to relax a little, if only for few hours. With a final glance, he turned back into the kitchen and resumed getting the Saturday lunch ready.   
   
An hour later, Brian’s cell vibrated on the kitchen table. Justin wiped his hands and answered the call.  
   
“Hello?” Surprised silence met his ears.  
   
“Justin?” He bit on his lower lip.  
   
“Um yeah, Linds, it's me. Brian and the kids are asleep. You still at the hospital?” Shuffling was heard on the other side, as if a phone was being transferredfrom one ear to the other.  
   
“No, we are at Deb's now. It seems that Michael somehow found out we were in the Pitts and we kinda had no choice in the matter. You know how Deb gets.” Justin laughed softly at the desperation in Lindsay’s voice.  
   
“I feel for you. I really do.” He paused. “Linds, will your dad be alright?” He heard her clearing her throat.  
   
“I think so. It was touch and go yesterday, but the doctors think that he should be recovering nicely. It will take time, but he should be alright eventually.” Justin nodded silently. “I'm glad.” Before the conversation got even more depressed, Lindsay spoke again. “Anyway, we were thinking about coming to get the kids later.”  
   
Justin glanced at the still sleeping threesome in the room close by.  
   
“Sure, but we were thinking about going to Deb's later tonight, so if you wanna, you can take them from there.”  
   
“Oh, ok. See you here in about an hour or so? And could you two hurry and maybe organize some kind of extracting mission? Because I don’t think Deb hasany plans to let us go anytime soon.” Lindsay whispered into the receiver, adding a tortured sigh as a bonus, which made Justin laugh even harder.  
   
“I will see you guys in an hour.” Justin shook his head in bewilderment and disconnected.  He threw another glance onto the sofa. Silently he took the sketch book, settled into the armchair and let his pencil fly all over the paper, just as it always did. A moment like this one was simply too perfect to pass and a recent event with Lindsay’s dad showed exactly that. Looking back, Justin realizedthat to a point, Brian was right about having no regrets. Life was just too damn short for something like that. The realizationbrought Justin to a new degree of understanding about life and love and he made a secret promise to himself.  
   
   
*  
   
   
Hours later, deep into the night, the two of them laidin their bed, thinking about the last few days. As usual, some of their best, most productive talks were led between the sheets. Brian’s fingers absently traced the soft skin of Justin’s shoulder, while his lover almost purred at the gentle contact. Kids were long gone with their mothers and once again, there was just the two of them.  
   
“You know, I've been thinking…”  
   
“Mmm…” The fingers never stilled even for a moment.  
   
“We have been off and on together for what…ten years now?” he whispered into the darkness of the room.  
   
“Mmm…”  
   
“So, anyway, J said something today that made me realizesomething.”  
   
“What’s that?”  
   
“That we've been together for **ten** years. Has it really been that long?” Justin laughed softly at the confusion and wonder in Brian’s voice.  
   
“Uh huh. Who knew that you'd be able to endure my company for this long.”  
   
“Sunshine, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having you as company. You know I kinda like having you around.” Brian grinned down at Justin, his lips kissing the crown of the man's head.  
   
“Um, since it doesn’t seem as if I am going to get rid of you any time soon, what do you say we finally make this thing between us official?” He sucked his lips into his mouth, waiting.  
   
“Ok.”  
   
“Ok?”  
   
“Sure. Since we're stuck together, we might as well.” He looked up and smiled brightly.  
   
“Just like that, Sunshine?”  
   
“Just like that.”  
   
“Only one thing. There is no way, under any circumstances, that I will ever go camping again. Ever. Do I make myself clear?” Justin just looked at him, as familiar mischief reared its ugly head again. Brian knew he was in trouble.  
   
“Justin, I am fucking serious.” He watched as his lover slowly slid down his body, his small, slippery tongue already licking a trail, that led down from his navel straight to his already straining cock.  
   
“We'll talk about it…” Brian’s eyes widened.  
   
“No, no, no, no talking, Justin. No more camping for… - _aah…oh God…_ ”  
   
Justin grinned around the hard member in his mouth, as Brian wantonly arched off the bed. Yes, there will be plenty of time for talking later.   
   
Much, _much_ later.  
   
   
THE END


End file.
